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SierraF

Page history last edited by SierraF 5 years, 6 months ago

The Ones Who Hurt

I see

The ones that hurt,

I run

Like a dog with no legs,

I try,

Try to run,

But I just stand,

As still as a Tiger

Watching its prey,

About to pounce, 

But they walk past,

Not saying anything,

Just turning the corner

I breathe heavily,

Then I start walking

Not willingly,

Just moving,

Not fast nor slow

I can control it,

I just move,

I shall not walk or run,

My mind tells me

Just between

 

Comments (16)

Jocelyn K said

at 9:01 am on Dec 18, 2014

I like how your poem flows so smoothly.

Pauline C said

at 9:02 am on Dec 18, 2014

I like that you put animals into the poem, it made it seem more realistic.

Kayden M. said

at 9:04 am on Dec 18, 2014

I like how you worded things

Joey S. said

at 9:10 am on Dec 18, 2014

I like how you you know how the character feels.

Emily S said

at 9:21 am on Dec 18, 2014

I like how you put animals into the story and said what it would feel like.

Emma P said

at 9:21 am on Dec 18, 2014

Good way fo showing how you were breathing heavily.

Lexi R said

at 9:22 am on Dec 18, 2014

I like how there were those details that you could imgine

Levi L. said

at 9:23 am on Dec 18, 2014

Its shows how you try as hard as you can but you can't get there.

Stryker L. said

at 9:48 am on Dec 18, 2014

I like how this poem would help someone get thrue a hard time

Megan K said

at 10:26 am on Dec 18, 2014

I like how you have animals in your poem!

Austin M. said

at 12:19 pm on Dec 18, 2014

I like how you explain the animals perspective to yours.

Trenten M said

at 8:36 am on Dec 19, 2014

I like how you made it into a poem

BrianneR said

at 9:08 am on Dec 19, 2014

It is a great poem, and it helps people if they were having a bad day.

Kaylin K-T said

at 1:53 pm on Dec 19, 2014

I like how you expressed how the person is feeling.

Ezra S said

at 1:56 pm on Dec 19, 2014

like how you explained the tiger's point of view too.

Ian M. said

at 1:59 pm on Dec 19, 2014

It's very interesting how you say the ones who hurt just walk by you would think they would be cruel or mean or something.

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