Little boy Jerry
Once upon a time there was a old man named Santa Claus he has a arch enemy named Mr. Alien he was a mean alien that was Santa’s friend until he got coal for christmas. One day Santa was about to land on little boy Jerry’s house then He seen Alien and Santa landed ran down the chimney grabbed little boy Jerry woke him up and they grabbed the dart gun stash and Jerry was confused then Santa told him about Alien. Then they ran up the chimney but Jerry made it only 2 feet up so he grabbed a ladder and went up they shot at Aliens army then Rudolph, Dancer, and Prancer went in the house and got Jerry’s little barricade walls. They set them up on the roof the reindeer shoot lasers out of their noses and the elves came and shot bullets out of candy canes and Santa had a candy rocket. On the other side the Army of little aliens were shooting elves with their own dart guns and barricades.
Then the bigger alien dogs had their teeth they grabbed elves and throw them of the roof. Then the Big mean Mr. Alien had a squid cannon and he was bad with it. The elves hit all of the mini aliens off of a roof and the dogs fell too. Then the elves charged the big mean Mr. Alien and Jerry the little boy and Jerry the elf were hanging by their hands on the edge of the roof. The big Mr. Alien knocked the reindeer of the roof and then Santa and Mr. Alien fighted and then Santa fell and was hanging.
The the big mean Mr. Alien was about to hit Santa off of the roof but then little boy Jerry and elf Jerry got up and jumped up on the big Mr. Alien and tackled him and he fell and poofed into dust. Then the Jerry’s helped up Santa up and went home. The little boy Jerry got a awesome dart gun war and he went back to bed and he woke up in the morning and seen that there were gifts under the tree for himself. He opened then and got more dart gun and even got airsoft guns. Then he made a snowman and thats
THE END
Comments (16)
Pauline C said
at 9:00 am on Dec 18, 2014
I like that you made it more modern and included an enemy.
Natasha G. said
at 9:00 am on Dec 18, 2014
You did a good job of showing what the character's were acting and what they are like.
Trenten M said
at 9:03 am on Dec 18, 2014
I love how they have guns and other things like that.
Joey S. said
at 9:06 am on Dec 18, 2014
Nice job on describing the characters.
Jocelyn K said
at 9:06 am on Dec 18, 2014
I like you twist it's almost like santa with jack frost but more modernized.
Emma P said
at 9:20 am on Dec 18, 2014
You kept it going, and always had something new to add. good job
Emily S said
at 9:26 am on Dec 18, 2014
Thats an interesting story. Still good. It has a little humor in it. I like the twist.
Stryker L. said
at 9:38 am on Dec 18, 2014
I like how the little boy helps Santa
Levi L. said
at 9:44 am on Dec 18, 2014
I like how santa gets into a fight.
Megan K said
at 10:21 am on Dec 18, 2014
I like how you based it off of Christmas
Austin M. said
at 12:16 pm on Dec 18, 2014
I like all the action.
Dylan D said
at 12:21 pm on Dec 18, 2014
I like how Santa gave Mr. Alien coal for christmas!
BrianneR said
at 9:06 am on Dec 19, 2014
Good job on making him get a good present for helping.
Lexi R said
at 9:24 am on Dec 19, 2014
I liked the detail
Tracy H said
at 9:46 am on Dec 19, 2014
I like how you named some of the reindeer.
Ezra S said
at 1:51 pm on Dec 19, 2014
The story was very funny. I liked the characters.
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