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CroyS

Page history last edited by Croy S. 5 years, 11 months ago

Chores

 The sound of machinery and engines.

Cars zooming past.

 Watching ducks waddle about,

 Cows mooing in the pasture,

 Chickens clucking in the barn

Cats chasing each other about.

Pouring grain into a stuffy chicken pen.

Smell of farm in the air.

The musty smell of hay

 The mud sucking at your feet.

The texture of the grain running through your hands.

 The metal handles of the buckets digging in to your hand.

Shoulders ache

Hands hurt

But finally finished.

 

Comments (16)

Jayde B. said

at 10:53 am on May 8, 2014

It's like I am watching everything happen right before my eyes, you are a very good writer, great job.

Jenna O said

at 10:57 am on May 8, 2014

Great job! I feel like I am actually there!

Tommy R. said

at 10:59 am on May 8, 2014

nice job with the sounds, i could hear them

Carter H said

at 10:59 am on May 8, 2014

Good job, the details made everything seem very realistic

Jordan B said

at 11:02 am on May 8, 2014

When you said cars zooming past I imagined a camaro speeding by and you used good descriptive words like musty

Grace K. said

at 11:02 am on May 8, 2014

I could hear all of the different sounds of the animals

Kayla K. said

at 11:03 am on May 8, 2014

I like you details it helped me get a good visual.

Tatum K said

at 11:03 am on May 8, 2014

I like how you describe what all the animals were doing. I could see a picture in my head.

Anthony F. said

at 11:04 am on May 8, 2014

I like how you said the mud was sucking at your feet.

Allie W said

at 11:07 am on May 8, 2014

I can really relate to your poem. It gave me a clear visual picture. Great job!

Morgan E. said

at 11:09 am on May 8, 2014

I could really see and hear all of the animals around me. good job

Ben F. said

at 11:10 am on May 8, 2014

I like how you said the but finally finished.

Rachel D said

at 11:14 am on May 8, 2014

I like how you separated the last three lines so you could actually feel the pain. Nice Job!

Garrett L said

at 11:14 am on May 8, 2014

I like how you described the metal handels of the buckets. Good Job.

Kassi S. said

at 12:39 pm on May 8, 2014

Great Job, you did a great job describing the last lines! It made me feel like I was out doing my morning chores.

Mrs. K. said

at 3:11 pm on May 12, 2014

I love how you end it with the last 3 lines
"Shoulders ache
Hands hurt
But finally finished."

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