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LilyP

Page history last edited by Lily P 6 years ago

The Heat Doesn’t Stop Me

 

The heat,

sweltering.

My face,

dripping with sweat.

Hair, like a rat’s nest.

Humidity,

causing sweat to drip

down my forehead,

off my nose,

onto the street,

sizzling like a stove.

Cracked pavement,

cracking even more,

from my pounding footsteps.

I long,

for the refreshing taste of water.

The soft cushion, 

and the smell of 

green grass.

Freshly mown.

The taste,

of barbecue,

but all I get.

Is salt.

Sweat.

The buzz of the cicada,

and lawn mower,

are a drum.

Keeping my pace

steady.

The world flies by,

while I run.

A hazy cloud,

either from my sight

or the murky humidity. 

The sun blazes,

Hot already.

six am.

Lungs burning, 

legs burning,

like the hot sun above.

It won’t stop me.

It’s just heat.
And I have the whole day

to finish what I started.

 

Comments (20)

Callie L. said

at 8:32 am on May 8, 2014

I liked how you could see somebody running and how you got the feeling of being exhausted but didn't want to stop. I really liked when you said that you longed for water because I could related to that a time or two.

Macy N. said

at 8:46 am on May 8, 2014

I can see you running and this seems like me to. Sweat drips from my forehead and long for the cold drink of water. I also like how you wrote about running. I can sense that I was there running with you. Great job Lily!

Jordan E. said

at 8:55 am on May 8, 2014

You gave so much description that it was kind of gross but it was good!

Aliyah D said

at 8:59 am on May 8, 2014

You had really good details and description! Good job!

Ashton J said

at 8:59 am on May 8, 2014

I liked how you described a normal hot day! Can't wait for it!

Kennedy W. said

at 9:01 am on May 8, 2014

Good details describing the heat, made me kind of feel a little warm.

Kaitlyn R said

at 9:02 am on May 8, 2014

You have lots of great details in describing how hot it is. Great job!

ZavierM said

at 9:02 am on May 8, 2014

Good job describing the heat.

Lukas O. said

at 9:03 am on May 8, 2014

You used very good describing words

Rezner B. said

at 9:04 am on May 8, 2014

Great details like "legs burning" I can really relate to that and imagine myself in that situation.

Clay J said

at 9:04 am on May 8, 2014

I liked how you explained how your body felt and what pain it was going through

Callie H. said

at 9:08 am on May 8, 2014

I liked how you wrote about how it was already hot a 6 in the morning, but no matter how hot it was, you weren't going to give up!

Marckus T said

at 9:09 am on May 8, 2014

I really got a good picture and there were very good describing words.

Payton S. said

at 9:13 am on May 8, 2014

I got a good visual of how your body felt, great job!

Chloe K. said

at 9:16 am on May 8, 2014

Great details and descriptions. I like how you explain how your body was going through pain.

Abe V. said

at 9:18 am on May 8, 2014

I liked how you described the heat as "sizzling like a stove"

Tatum K said

at 11:17 am on May 8, 2014

The whole poem painted a picture in my head. Awesome job!

Kassi S. said

at 12:45 pm on May 8, 2014

Great Job using very descriptive words to make me feel like I was running right along with you, Great Job once again!

Bailey R. said

at 1:47 pm on May 8, 2014

I could imagine I was with you. You use a lot of great descriptions. Great job!

Mrs. K. said

at 1:11 pm on May 12, 2014

I liked several of your images, especially
"The buzz of the cicada,
and lawn mower,
are a drum.
Keeping my pace
steady".

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