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Destiny M

Page history last edited by Destiny M 6 years, 3 months ago


One day a little girl named Hannah came down stairs to eat breakfast, when she came down stairs she was surprised to see the kitchen table gone, she walked around the house and all the furniture was gone, even her gold fish tank was missing. She ran up stairs to see if her parents were awake yet. When she open their bedroom door she couldn’t believe her eyes, there was nothing there she thought they had left her alone in the house with nothing. Then she heard a loud scream coming from down stairs, she ran down the stairs almost falling face first. When she got to the entrance she saw her mom sitting on the floor holding her foot. She helped her mom up in a hurry and asked what happen to her foot, her mom said, “I stubbed my toe on the door.” She said to her mom loudly, “Why is our house empty?”. “We are moving”, her mom replied. Hannah was angry her mom didn’t tell her before they decided.

     Hannah ran upstairs to her room and found that the moving company was taking her stuff to the truck, she stood in her doorway and stared at them. She wasn’t even dressed yet, she ran to her dresser before they took it and pulled out a pair of jeans and a tee shirt. She went into the other room and changed, she took her pajamas to the car and put them in the back seat. Her mom said, “We are leaving in fifteen minutes, can you go through the house and check to see if they missed anything?”. “Fine”, Hannah said. She walked through the house, it was spotless she couldn’t see any thing.

She seen a string she never noticed before in the hallway hanging down from the ceiling, She pulled the string knowing in lead to the attic. She wondered why her mom never told her about the attic. She walked up the stairs, the only light was coming from a window across the room. It was big enough to see from the backyard, She never noticed it, all the summers she spent in the backyard play with her friends, swimming and having barbeques.

     She looked out the window thinking about how much she would miss the house, she was about to turn around and go back downstairs but she heard a noise that sounded like somebody scratching the wood floor of the attic. She followed the sound and it lead her to a little door on the of the attic, she opened it and crawled through. She felt around to see what was in the room, she felt a knob on the floor. When she pulled it she fell into the laundry room, she landed on the hard floor and smacked her head on the ground. When she got up the door was closed, she ran up to the attic with a flash light from the car, she found the door and went back in it. She shined the flash light on the wall and seen another trapdoor. She opened the door and saw rats running away. She crawled down the little hall way and she came to another door, she opened it and seen bright colors and very happy people. She didn't know where she was but she liked it, because there was candy everywhere and there was a river called the milky-way with oreo dolphins. There was a small village, one of the people walked up to her and said if she closed the door it would go away and she could never go home. She ran to the door and climbed through, she crawled back through the hallway and ran to her mom and said "follow me!". Her mom followed her to the attic and crawled though the door with her into the candy village, "How did you find this place?" her mom asked. She told her mom the whole story while they sat at a picnic table and ate ice cream. When they were done a man they had met named George told them if they went across the river through the woods there was another village, there the land was made of fruits and vegetables. After they heard what a great place it as they decided to stay there. They lived happily ever after.


                                                                                 The End 


Comments (23)

Lily P said

at 8:29 am on Apr 2, 2014

I love how you made this into kind of a fairytale setting!

Lily P said

at 8:30 am on Apr 2, 2014

Oh whoops, wrong page. Sorry Destiny. I really loved how you brought emotion to life, in the girl and even in the settings.

Kenzie W said

at 8:31 am on Apr 2, 2014

I thought it was fun to read, I liked how you started it out like it was scary, and then it was happy, almost funny. Good job with details.

Bailey R. said

at 8:33 am on Apr 2, 2014

I liked the way you explained the village. That's somewhere I would want to live!(:

Ashton J said

at 8:33 am on Apr 2, 2014

Great details! I like the curiosity of the story! Great job. :)

Faith J. said

at 8:34 am on Apr 2, 2014

I liked how you built suspense at the beginning, and them ended with a happy ending!

ZavierM said

at 8:35 am on Apr 2, 2014

I love the end and how it was happy.

mariahc said

at 8:36 am on Apr 2, 2014

I like how at first the girl was all confused and it reminded me of a book I read before.

Payton S. said

at 8:36 am on Apr 2, 2014

I like how the story made me think and wonder what was going to happen and then it ends happily, good job.

Clay J said

at 8:41 am on Apr 2, 2014

It made me feel like I was in this place

Jordan E. said

at 8:42 am on Apr 2, 2014

Its interesting how it all played out and at the end they all are happy.

Carissa B. said

at 11:19 am on Apr 2, 2014

I liked it. It was a good story. I lied the part where Hannah opens the door to the candy village.

Chloe K. said

at 3:46 pm on Apr 2, 2014

I liked your story. And how it ended up happy at the end. Good job!

Aliyah D said

at 8:48 am on Apr 3, 2014

I like your story! The ending was my favorite, when she found the candy village. I could picture what it looked like! Great story

Allison Bu. said

at 8:52 am on Apr 3, 2014

I liked how you decribed the village with lots of detail.

Callie H. said

at 8:55 am on Apr 3, 2014

I like how it started like it was going to be a normal day, and then it turned out to be like a fairytale!

Zoey F. said

at 8:57 am on Apr 3, 2014

I like how you made a bad situation turn into a great situation. I made the story feel like there are possibility's if you just go on a little adventure. GREAT STORY !!!!

Kennedy W. said

at 9:01 am on Apr 3, 2014

Nice setting, I like your creativity

Lukas O. said

at 9:01 am on Apr 3, 2014

I like the ending, how they like it even though they didn't before

Rezner B. said

at 9:03 am on Apr 3, 2014

The whole trapped door fiasco was very compelling and creative. I loved the happy ending. Oh and I liked how you remembered to remind us that fruits and veggies are just as important as candy!LOL!

Marckus T said

at 9:08 am on Apr 3, 2014

I liked how you made it a "Happy" ending.

Macy N. said

at 9:22 am on Apr 3, 2014

It was neat that you added trap doors. You also had good details. Nice job!

Hailey S said

at 12:42 pm on Apr 3, 2014

I like how you made it into like a fairytale. It had really good details too! Good Job!

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