Great Aunt Alize
Marti and her friends were having a campout in the woods for her 8th birthday party. All the girls and Marti’s parents were sitting around the campfire when Paul, her father, asked if the girls want to hear the story of his great aunt Alize. When all the girls gave shrill cries, he took that as his cue to begin. “The year was 1787,” he began, “and Baxter Park, the place where she grew up, was about to become her worst nightmare. Alize was a chemist and was coming home for the yearly Halloween dance. After leaving the train, Alize decided to walk through Baxter Park for she had loved to play there as a child. As she walked along the winding paths that she knew like the back of her hand, she spied a scrapbook. Wondering who in the world would leave such a precious memory out in the wild, she picked it up and opened the front cover. Upon looking on the first page she saw her father, hung in his kitchen, dead. Scared, she ran home, hoping it was just someone playing a trick on her, but ‘twas not the case. She found her beloved father, hanging in the kitchen, dead. Horrified, she threw the scrapbook away, and went along the rest of her day mournful and wondering how such a thing could happen.” Paul said, “Well, you probably don’t want me to tell the rest. It’s to scary for little girls.”
“Please go on daddy, just for a little while,” pleaded little Marti.
“Ok, but just a little longer.” Paul continued, “Where was I? Oh yes, The next morning Alize found the discarded scrapbook open on her kitchen table when she came down to eat some cereal. Upon looking inside, she saw her poor mother, drowned in the pool out back. As she ran in that direction, sure enough, she found her mother drowned while making her morning laps. ‘Who would do such a thing’ she asked herself. ‘This is just morbid.’
She returned to the scrapbook and took another look where she found her sister shot dead in the upstairs closet, and sure enough she found it true. Glancing at the rest of the scrapbook she found her two brothers, her aunt and uncle, and her best friend Samantha, all dead from different means of torture. Now, ultimately terrified, she took the book and some food and locked herself in the basement. Then she looked at the last page of the scrapbook, and she saw…herself.”
All of the little girls screamed, save one. “Why are you not terrified by my story, Betsy?” asked Paul.
“Well,” said Betsy, “What’s wrong with seeing a picture of herself? At least she didn’t see someone dead.” While everyone busted out laughing, poor Betsy remained confused.
Comments (20)
PiperS said
at 7:59 am on Apr 2, 2014
I liked how it seemed like it could be a story that anyone would tell around a campfire and how it ended with a bit of humor.
Brandi D said
at 8:03 am on Apr 2, 2014
I really liked your story. I love scary stories, and this one is a great one, great job!
AllisonB. said
at 8:04 am on Apr 2, 2014
You used very descriptive words that made the story's theme or feeling scary.
Kaleigh W said
at 8:06 am on Apr 2, 2014
I really enjoyed your story because you wouldn't know how it would end.
Callie L. said
at 8:10 am on Apr 2, 2014
I loved your big, descriptive words you used. You had a really good scary voice!
Ryan H said
at 8:13 am on Apr 2, 2014
A thriller! I Love this writing to pieces! Well done!
Marin E. said
at 8:13 am on Apr 2, 2014
I liked how mysterious your story was. I kept wondering what would happen next. I also like how Betsy didn't really understand the last part of the story.
Jace said
at 8:16 am on Apr 2, 2014
I like the horror, and the many good descriptive words in the story.
Marrah B. said
at 8:16 am on Apr 2, 2014
I really enjoyed the plot twist! I thought it was just going to be a casual camping story, but it turned out to be frightening!
Joshua said
at 8:19 am on Apr 2, 2014
Good job I liked how the father told the story
Jessica K. said
at 8:55 pm on Apr 2, 2014
Oh, Elizabeth. You have no idea how much of a knee slapper this is. Just the perfect thing to tell over the campfire.
Kyle N said
at 8:00 am on Apr 3, 2014
You described the setting very well.
Andrew H. said
at 8:00 am on Apr 3, 2014
I liked the mysterious and scary this story is!
Justin K. said
at 8:02 am on Apr 3, 2014
I would like to read more of it.
Katrina M said
at 8:06 am on Apr 3, 2014
I like how you made the story somewhat mysterious.
Wyatt V. said
at 8:11 am on Apr 3, 2014
I like how you showed such good voice
Jessica B said
at 8:21 am on Apr 3, 2014
I liked the ending because it was unpredictable.
SierraC said
at 8:31 am on Apr 3, 2014
Very thrilling and exciting, Its full of life and fun!
Laura W. said
at 8:48 am on Apr 3, 2014
This was so good. I love the use of the scrapbook.
Lily P said
at 8:53 am on Apr 3, 2014
I love the ending and how you did not make it predictable!
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