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Callie H

Page history last edited by Callie H. 6 years, 5 months ago

Cinderella

By: Callie H.

 

     There once was a maiden named Cinderella. She lived with her stepmother and Stepsisters. They all hated her and forced her to do all the work around the house because they were too lazy to do it themselves.

         Every morning at five sharp, Cinderella pulled herself out of bed so she could collect the eggs, milk the cows, and feed and water all the animals. She had to be done with that at promptly 7:00 so she could make breakfast for Anastasia, Drizella, and her stepmother.

     Everyday, Cinderella was worked to the bone, so tired at night that she fell into bed to tired too even cry about how much pain she was in, for every time something wasn’t finished correctly, she was beaten. The highlight of her day, was when she walked into town to get the mail.  

         One day as Cinderella was flipping through the mail on her way home, she noticed a letter from the prince! She wondered what he could possibly want from her family. She was never allowed to open the mail, so she rushed home to her stepmother so she could find out what was in it.

         When she got home, she rushed into the parlor, where her stepmother was resting. She yelled to her that there was a letter from the prince addressed to the ladies of the household. As her stepmother opened it, Cinderella leaned over her shoulder to see what it was about. She exclaimed with joy when she read it because the whole household was invited to a ball!

         When she asked her stepmother if she could go, her stepmother said she could if everything was clean and she behaved herself until then.

         Cinderella had behaved all week and everything was clean so she went to her stepmother to get permission to go. When she asked her, her stepmother told her that they would never want to be seen with her and that there was no way she would be going.

         The family left without her and Cinderella knelt on the floor and started to cry. After about half an hour, there was a tinkling noise and all of a sudden, a little lady appeared. Cinderella looked up and asked who she was. The little old lady said she was Cinderella’s fairy godmother and that she was going to help her get to the ball. Cinderella told her there was no way she could get there, but the fairy godmother said she would be able to get her there if she brought her a pumpkin, 6 mice, and 4 rats.

         Cinderella brought them to the fairy godmother. Once they were in her hands, the fairy godmother cast a spell on them that would only last until midnight. The pumpkin turned into a coach, the mice turned into horses, and the rats turned into carriage men. Everything was perfect except for Cinderella’s garments. Before you could say dress, Cinderella was wearing a fancy gown.

         Then, she was off. She was going to the ball. When she got there everyone stopped and stared. The prince danced with her all night until all of a sudden, the clock struck midnight. She ran out into the night, but lost a slipper on the way. The next day, the knights went around looking for the girl who fit into the slipper. Cinderella saw him coming and was suddenly self-conscious about her appearance. She ran out into the woods and hid.

         Meanwhile, in the house, the stepsisters were trying on the slipper. Suddenly Anastasia exclaimed out with joy, for the slipper fit her foot! She got all excited and they scheduled the wedding to be two weeks from that day. Cinderella stayed in the woods, and built herself a tree house. She was glad to finally be free, and let her former family enjoy the thought of being royalty. That itself explains how she was a thoughtful person, willing to put others in front of herself.  

        

 

 

 

 

Comments (23)

Laura W. said

at 8:52 am on Apr 1, 2014

Your story went very smoothly. Good job. I liked the surprise ending and moral that you need to put others before you.

Ashton J said

at 9:04 am on Apr 1, 2014

I liked the new ending with another sister getting it to fit. Good details. You should make a sequel?? :)

Lily P said

at 9:05 am on Apr 1, 2014

I love how you put your own spin on a classic tale!

Payton S. said

at 9:05 am on Apr 1, 2014

I love how you put your own twist at the end of your story! Great job!

Kaitlyn R said

at 9:07 am on Apr 1, 2014

I like how you changed the ending so that the stepsister got to marry the prince and Cinderella could be free.

Bailey R. said

at 9:08 am on Apr 1, 2014

I love the way you turned a story everyone knows into something new. Good job!!

Clay J said

at 9:08 am on Apr 1, 2014

I like how you changed things from the orignal story.

Macy N. said

at 9:15 am on Apr 1, 2014

I thought it was neat how you changed it. Good job!

Kennedy W. said

at 9:16 am on Apr 1, 2014

you made great changes from the classic, you made it really original!

Carissa B. said

at 10:44 am on Apr 1, 2014

It was good. It sounded like the same story, but it wasn't just because of the ending. One little detail can make a big difference to a story that sounds like a book.

Taylor D. said

at 8:29 am on Apr 2, 2014

I like the twist ending, it shows that she was selfless even to those who treated her badly. Good job (:

Aliyah D said

at 8:29 am on Apr 2, 2014

I like the way you changed the fairytale to your own! Great job

Zoey F. said

at 8:33 am on Apr 2, 2014

Awesome classic story. I like how you described Cinderella as a thoughtful person.

ZavierM said

at 8:34 am on Apr 2, 2014

Very good story.

Chloe K. said

at 8:38 am on Apr 2, 2014

I love how you changed the end of the story so it wasn't the same. Great job!

Allison Bu. said

at 8:40 am on Apr 2, 2014

I liked how you twisted the ending I thought you where going to end it how the movie did, good job.

Rezner B. said

at 8:55 am on Apr 2, 2014

I love the twist on this classic fairy tale.

Rezner B. said

at 8:55 am on Apr 2, 2014

also, living in a treehouse sounds awesome!!

Elizabeth G said

at 8:05 am on Apr 3, 2014

I like how Cinderella ends up in the treehouse not with the prince.

Lukas O. said

at 8:46 am on Apr 3, 2014

I like the end how there is a twist that kinda confuses you, Good Job!

Kenzie W said

at 9:19 am on Apr 3, 2014

I liked the twist at the end, when the stepsister gets shoe to fit! Good twist, awesome story of the classic!

Grace K. said

at 11:09 am on Apr 3, 2014

I liked how the ending was different from all the other Cinderella stories that there are

Tatum K said

at 11:13 am on Apr 3, 2014

I liked how you put a twist to the ending. It made the story really fun to read.

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