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Jenna H

Page history last edited by Jenna H. 8 years, 3 months ago

The Devil Among Us

 

            Have you ever thought about who the people you know really are?  You may not think about the fact that someone you see everyday could be a threat to you, in the most harmful of ways possible.  You may pass them in the halls at school, but you don’t know them.  You don’t have the slightest clue.  They are something more dangerous than your own mind can fathom, appearing human but being something else entirely.  The worst part is, the Devil lives among you, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

            Let me tell you about Her.  She seems to be a typical girl.  She’s not.  She’s a fake figure, made only of broken pieces and a desire to inflict pain.  You see her smile, and it warms you inside.  She’s the definition of false beauty, and she understands you enough to know your weaknesses.  She knows how to make you fall and drive you to insanity.  You can’t even comprehend how sinister she is.  You can feel good one minute, but when she becomes involved, you can be taken to the edge in simple seconds.  You don’t even know what’s happening to you, until it’s too late.  You just start falling, straight to the bottom, as your life becomes distorted before your eyes.  Always watching your moves, your words, your actions, she doesn’t miss a beat.  She knows your life better than you do.  She thrives on evil, anything to make you hurt.  The most entertaining part of her job is to watch you suffer.

            Mostly, she just enjoys messing up lives.  She loves to break hearts, start fights, cause pain, control fates, anything to see tears fall.  It’s all a game of fun, and the rush it gives her is the only happiness she needs.  Sometimes, the little things are just never enough, though.  Sometimes, she needs revenge.  Then, she takes things up a notch, to a horrifying extremity.

            One day, she watched.  Things changed that day.  He was only 16 when he took his life.  No one knew, but she was to blame.  He taunted a girl in school.  He laughed at her, called her names, and made her cry.  Unfortunately for him, She was in the class, observing his behavior, anger growing inside her skull.  Her head was bubbling with rage.  As he laughed, her mind seeked revenge.  She clenched her fists together tightly and plotted his fate.  She knew he would pay; she would make him pay.  Silently, the Devil whispered words, and she obeyed.

            The next day at school, everyone noticed how tired he looked.  He was definitely not himself.  Something about him just wasn’t right.  She passed him in the hall, giving him a cheerful hello.  Who would ever guess this girl could cause so much pain?  The word was spreading around school, as people wondered what was going on with him.  Eventually, he was too ill to stay there any longer so he went home to rest.  That night, his parents found his body.  It caught everyone off guard.  No one suspected anything like this out of him.  He wouldn’t do something like that.  It was impossible for anyone to believe.  Yet, there was no explanation, only a gun and a pool of blood.  The Devil gets away with everything.

            It’s hard to tell how she got this way.  She used to be someone real.  Her sincerity, her love, her glowing face, was all anyone needed to feel happy.  She could light up anyone’s day with a few comforting words.  So how did she become who she is today?

            This carefree girl, full of determination and joy, started going downhill herself.  It wasn’t entirely his fault, but he just took advantage of the perfect opportunity.  Seeing her stumble through life’s difficulties, he pushed her further toward the edge, as far as he felt was necessary.  Then, he confronted her, and he was indeed persuasive.  His words were sweet on her soul, and it was all she needed to give in to the temptation.  She made a deal with the Devil.  He granted her happiness, as long as she did what he asked.  What she didn’t understand was that she wouldn’t really gain happiness from this deal.  He was a liar, and lying was his game.  He was only taking control of her, and happiness was nothing but a delusional lie.  He portrayed himself as this innocent girl, and her identity was completely lost in the process.  Never again would she be the same.  Once you make a deal with the Devil, you’re gone, erased from existence.  You’re still the same person to everyone else, but you know you aren’t the same.  He has complete control, and it’s more powerful than any person could imagine.

            This is how it all started, and the cycle goes on.  He sees the opportunity, and he grasps it.  She’s not the only one out there, and there’s no way you can know who is under the Devil’s control and who is not.  He infests people with evil, and victims have the misfortune of paying the price.  The price may not always be death, but it will be painful.  Truthfully, in the end we are all victims.  Even those like her are victims to His deceiving, gambling game.  Next time you pass someone in the hall, you better think about whom you could be dealing with.  All I can do is wish you the best of luck.  It’s a cruel world, made of beautiful lies.

 

 

Comments (26)

Sydney B said

at 2:47 pm on Feb 29, 2012

I liked the way you described "Her" and how you explained what she used to act like and how she was changed. I also like the fact that you didn't actually give "Her" a name, you just referred to her as "She."

Dawn T. said

at 2:48 pm on Feb 29, 2012

The way you described her anger was very descriptive. Creepy story, but I liked it.

Cayley H. said

at 2:50 pm on Feb 29, 2012

I really liked this story! It catches the attention of the audience right away and doesn't let go.

Jodi S said

at 2:52 pm on Feb 29, 2012

It was kind of a creepy story but very interesting!

Alison M said

at 2:53 pm on Feb 29, 2012

You details were very evident. I liked how talked about the devil but used his actions through "her" that was a nice touch.

Geordan H said

at 2:54 pm on Feb 29, 2012

I liked how you kept it interesting with your detail.

Logan D said

at 2:56 pm on Feb 29, 2012

I liked this story a lot. You did a great job describing Her and how she can ruin peoples lives. Good job.

Lexi M. said

at 2:59 pm on Feb 29, 2012

I liked how you described "Her" without actually giving her a name, also your story really keep my attention throughout.

Amy D said

at 3:01 pm on Feb 29, 2012

I like how you put a lot of commas in your sentences and you made them short to keep the reader's interest in the story. Interesting story over all! Kind of scary to think about!

James said

at 3:03 pm on Feb 29, 2012

Great story! really creepy though!

Bethany P. said

at 3:05 pm on Feb 29, 2012

I liked how the devil wasn't a guy like people normally think.

Mallory B said

at 3:08 pm on Feb 29, 2012

I liked the last few sentences in your story. Creepy to think about.

cody o said

at 3:13 pm on Feb 29, 2012

That was one strange woman. The way you described the deals made me think of the fiddling song"The devil went down to Georgia."

Meghan O said

at 3:13 pm on Feb 29, 2012

I enjoyed the conclusion a lot. Makes readers think some more. I also liked how you never named the girl, only "Her" and "she.

Kynzee O said

at 3:15 pm on Feb 29, 2012

Very creepy! great job of describing the devil within.

Sam K said

at 3:18 pm on Feb 29, 2012

Amazing writing and I thought the use of only he and she had a great effect.

Carly L. said

at 3:22 pm on Feb 29, 2012

I like how a story turned into a much broader topic. You didn't straight up state anything, which made it exciting.

rebecca b said

at 2:11 pm on Mar 1, 2012

i liked how you described the people. it was a good story.

Ashley G. said

at 2:21 pm on Mar 1, 2012

Good Descriptions, in your story, very good

Nick B. said

at 2:34 pm on Mar 1, 2012

Great description of the people!

Grant W said

at 2:49 pm on Mar 1, 2012

I could picture everything when you described how she died.

Carly M said

at 2:50 pm on Mar 1, 2012

I like how your story kept my attention from the beginning.

cody t said

at 2:50 pm on Mar 1, 2012

Excellent story, I like how the ending leaves the reader with that thought.

Chris T said

at 2:54 pm on Mar 1, 2012

I liked how well you described everything, and how it held my attention the whole story.

Nathan G. said

at 3:04 pm on Mar 1, 2012

I liked the detail you gave her and how you explained how He had changed her

Mike B said

at 3:09 pm on Mar 1, 2012

good job describing how she ruins peoples lives.

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