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SydneyB

Page history last edited by Sydney B 8 years, 9 months ago

Freedom

 

Free.

That’s how we felt.

Driving by ourselves,

For the first time

On that cold, rainy day.

The weather

Was dark and gloomy outside.

I watched

The rain

Pitter-patter

On the windshield.

The car

Was warm and cozy,

Like a giant blanket

That separated us

From the cold.

 

We stepped through the doors

Of the movie theater,

And smelled that wonderful aroma

Of movie theater popcorn.

Rich butter and salt

Covered the small, yellow kernels.

Cold, refreshing pop,

The perfect thing

To go with it.

 

Sitting in the movie theater,

In those big, cushioned seats

Made us feel like

We were sitting on clouds.

The movie,

Exciting and surprising

Filled the whole room

With its booming sound.

 

I was scared,

At first.

Worried,

That we wouldn’t make it back.

I soon realized

We had survived

Our first trip by ourselves.

 

Comments (36)

Bethany P. said

at 1:16 pm on Sep 19, 2011

Great metaphors!

Emily B. said

at 1:18 pm on Sep 19, 2011

Sydney, I liked how you started the poem off with the word Free and then went on to explain what you meant. It gave the poem an interesting flow. Good job!

dalton said

at 1:20 pm on Sep 19, 2011

love how you describe movie theater

rebecca b said

at 1:24 pm on Sep 19, 2011

like how the car was warm and cozy like a blanket

Courtland E said

at 1:26 pm on Sep 19, 2011

the description of the rain on the windshield was good

Toni R. said

at 1:28 pm on Sep 19, 2011

Your poem flowed wonderfully and you had great details.

Spencer A said

at 1:28 pm on Sep 19, 2011

you had great description throughout the whole story! great job!(:

Kathryn A said

at 1:30 pm on Sep 19, 2011

I like how you described the popcorn it made me hungry reading it. I also like how you compared the car to a blanket.

Maria C said

at 1:31 pm on Sep 19, 2011

I like this poem more and more each time I read it.

Will I said

at 1:32 pm on Sep 19, 2011

Nice description of the smells and feelings of the movie theater.

alex c. said

at 1:32 pm on Sep 19, 2011

good description!

Koree said

at 6:22 am on Sep 20, 2011

that made me really want to go to a movie! great detail :)

Shauna K said

at 8:27 am on Sep 20, 2011

The liked the detail you put into everything, it made it all come together.

Amy D said

at 12:52 pm on Sep 20, 2011

good adjectives! this made me really thirsty for some fresh pop :)

David C. said

at 1:19 pm on Sep 20, 2011

Great description on how you felt going out by yourself for the first time.

Logan D said

at 1:49 pm on Sep 20, 2011

Good job describing the move theatre!

Jodi S said

at 1:49 pm on Sep 20, 2011

Man I could use some popcorn now, great job describing it.

Cayley H. said

at 1:54 pm on Sep 20, 2011

I can definitely relate to how a car feels warm & cozy when the weather is bad outside.

Chandler L. said

at 1:59 pm on Sep 20, 2011

I liked how you described getting your licenses as being free. I can relate.

Lexi M. said

at 2:00 pm on Sep 20, 2011

I like how you described everything, great details.

Kynzee O said

at 2:00 pm on Sep 20, 2011

Great job. That is always a good day.

Mallory B. said

at 2:01 pm on Sep 20, 2011

Good job describing the gloomy day and the popcorn.

Carly M said

at 2:04 pm on Sep 20, 2011

Good job on the details.

Sam C said

at 2:05 pm on Sep 20, 2011

good description of the weather

Chris T said

at 2:06 pm on Sep 20, 2011

I like the description of the rain outside

cody t said

at 2:07 pm on Sep 20, 2011

I like the way you describe the first step into the movie theater. Good job.

Sam K said

at 2:07 pm on Sep 20, 2011

I enjoyed your description of your feelings.

cody o said

at 2:08 pm on Sep 20, 2011

The "pitter-patter" is a great description of rain, I like it.

Jenna H. said

at 2:14 pm on Sep 20, 2011

I can definitely relate to this. ;) The way you described the popcorn makes me hungry, too.

Nick B. said

at 2:15 pm on Sep 20, 2011

I can feel the warmth of the car and the smell of popcorn. Great job using sensory details.

Geordan H said

at 2:16 pm on Sep 20, 2011

I liked how the word free was used then later described.

Alison M said

at 2:16 pm on Sep 20, 2011

I can feel anxiety. Great job!

Dawn T. said

at 3:57 pm on Sep 20, 2011

Nice use of metaphors to describe everything. Great poem Sydney!

Grant W said

at 8:02 am on Sep 21, 2011

you did a good job of describing .

Mrs. K. said

at 11:36 am on Sep 22, 2011

I liked how you were so descriptive in telling us about the sights, sounds and feelings you were having with this new experience. It is neat how the same event can be both exhilarating and a bit frightening at the same time.

Joe D said

at 5:07 pm on Sep 25, 2011

Made a bad day a fun day

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