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Maria C

Page history last edited by Maria C 8 years, 3 months ago

Sunday Funday   


          One lazy Sunday, a teenage girl named Mariah was bored.  It was the first day she had off in a long time and aspired to have a fun-filled, relaxing day.  What came to mind was hanging out with her best friend, Jackie.  Mariah texted Jackie inquiring about her plans and whether she’d see fit to ride dirt rides with her.  Jackie cheerfully suggested Mariah come over to ride her house since she has better trails and more bikes.  Mariah told Jackie, “I’ll be there in a jiffy!”  Of course, Mariah had a tendency to become distracted and often ran late.  Mariah thought, “I’ll lay down for a quick, power nap than I’ll leave for the long, monotonous drive.” 

            Two hours later, Mariah woke up to her sister, Olive, yelling, “Jackie’s on the phone! She wants to know whether you’re alive still or dead in the ditch!”  “Oh no,” squealed Mariah, “I overslept!”  She dashed out the door, grabbing her coat and duffle bag along the way. 

            “I’m here!” cried Mariah when she finally arrived at Jackie’s house. 

            “Finally!” replied Jackie, “I was about ready to leave without you.”  Although, Mariah noticed Jackie still had to run to the bathroom before they could leave. 

            “Change of plans,” announced Jackie, “All of the bike’s motors are out for winter, but we can go ice skating instead.  I’m not sure how it’ll work out, though we can try.”   Mariah and Jackie had gone once before, which had ended with bruises and laughter.

            Mariah and Jackie along with Jackie’s sister, Becky, and mother, Mel, trekked to a remote pond in the middle of a dark, snow-covered forest.  Luckily, they only took a couple wrong turns.  Jackie’s dad, Nicolas, and brother, Alexander, had gone ahead and were waiting for them. 

            Once the quartet arrived, they began strapping up their ice skates.  Jackie’s laces broke mid-tug!  She discretely removed Becky’s laces from her boots while Becky was twirling around on the ice.  After Jackie was ready, she starting out onto the pond, but picked the thinnest spot on the bank and fell through, soaking her wool socks.  Nobody could help, but to point and laugh. 

            The sun was hot that day and melted the ice turning it to slush.  Not even a professional skater could of done a triple-axis in that.  So they decided to move onto the next point of interest: ice fishing.

            Mariah thought ice fishing was just standing beside a hole in the middle of the pond waiting for a guppy to bite, and she was exactly right.  The first thing on the agenda was to saw a hole through the ice.  Mariah and Jackie tried, but failed.  Nicolas came and plowed through causing Mariah and Jackie to feel like wimps.  Patiently, Alexander stuck worms that resembled maggots onto the girl’s poles since they didn’t want to touch the filthy creatures. 

            The duo cast their lines than, in a matter of seconds, Jackie hooked a sunfish!  Alexander ran over and extracted the fish from the line.  He barely walked away when Mariah let out a squeal.  She whipped her line out of the water, arcing similar to that of a cartoon, and the fish kissed Jackie square on the lips. 

               “Blech!” squawked Jackie with her admirer flopping around by her feet.  This was another moment where everyone couldn’t help, but point and laugh.

            Soon, the pair of girls was snatching fish one after another.   Alexander could hardly keep up with the demand of unhooking the fish and plopping them into a bucket. "Yum, supper," he joked.  

               Mariah and Jackie began naming the poor suckers.  “This one can be Alfred, that Borus, her Cassia, Donald, Eva,” remarked Mariah. 

            “I have a proposal,” announced Jackie, “Let’s snag twenty-six fish, one for each letter of the alphabet!” 

            “That’s an excellent idea!” agreed Mariah.

            For the next hour, Mariah, Jackie, Becky, and their trusty sidekick, Alexander huddled together over the lonely holes on the slick pond.  Mel and Nicolas had plodded home to fix enchiladas for dinner.  Finally, they accomplished their goal: twenty-six fish. 

            “Time to hike for home,” they cried together.  At this point, they had lost feeling in both their fingers and toes. 

            “It was worth it,” smiled Mariah and Jackie wholeheartedly nodded her head in accord.  The sun shone against the silhouette of the best friends retreating back to a warm home and hot chocolate.  


Comments (24)

Will I said

at 1:56 pm on Feb 29, 2012

I like how well you described the events of the day, and how you depicted them as being so joyous.

Nick B. said

at 2:08 pm on Feb 29, 2012

It sounds like an awesome time. I like the reference to the professional skater and the triple axis.

rebecca b said

at 2:09 pm on Feb 29, 2012

i like how they named the fish that they caught

dalton said

at 2:10 pm on Feb 29, 2012

I no what mariah feels like when you just wanna take a lil nap but sleep for ever, good story

Ashley G. said

at 2:10 pm on Feb 29, 2012

I loved how you described each event.. and the way Mariah fell asleep and Jackie was on the phone asking if you were alive or dead in a ditch and runs out the door trying to make it on time. Nice thriller

kenzie E said

at 2:12 pm on Feb 29, 2012

Good use of words, you kept my intrest by using more elaborate word than dull ordinary ones.

Austen B said

at 2:15 pm on Feb 29, 2012

The story was in good detail and it was a real thriller. Perfect.

Shauna K said

at 2:15 pm on Feb 29, 2012

I like the detail you put into each situation in the story.

alex c. said

at 2:15 pm on Feb 29, 2012

it was very interesting and fun to read.

Chandler L. said

at 2:16 pm on Feb 29, 2012

I liked how you and Jacqueline had the same story but in a different way. Sounds like you had a fun day.

Spencer A said

at 2:22 pm on Feb 29, 2012

it was neat how you and jacqueline wrote about the same story but in different points of view. i also like how you named the fish when you caught it.

Courtland E said

at 2:23 pm on Feb 29, 2012

The story sounds very familiar somehow. I liked how you described the ice fishing.

JacquelineF said

at 2:23 pm on Feb 29, 2012

This sounds really familiar.. I like the detail you used about each event.

Janice F said

at 2:23 pm on Feb 29, 2012

Sounds like you guys had fun, good descriptions.

Joe D said

at 2:28 pm on Feb 29, 2012

interesting twist in the story

Emily B. said

at 1:55 pm on Mar 1, 2012

I liked the part when you described the worms looking like maggots. I was able to get a picture in my head and it kind of grossed me out! Great job!

Blake R said

at 2:13 pm on Mar 1, 2012

nice story, like the details

Kathryn A said

at 2:24 pm on Mar 1, 2012

Describing that the event was similar to cartoon really helped me picture it! I also like how the fish became Jackie's admirer.

James said

at 3:03 pm on Mar 1, 2012

I like how she came over to ride the "house". haha Interesting story!

Dawn T. said

at 3:09 pm on Mar 1, 2012

You described everything very creatively. It made me smile when the fish "kissed" Jackie.

Mallory B said

at 3:14 pm on Mar 1, 2012

I liked how you used very descriptive words, yet it was still understandable.

cody o said

at 3:20 pm on Mar 1, 2012

I like how you described the story. I have no idea who those people could be though.

Sydney B said

at 3:21 pm on Mar 1, 2012

I liked how your story was like Jacqueline's but told from a different viewpoint!

Koree said

at 9:11 am on Mar 5, 2012

You had very good description and love how you renamed each person very similarly to their actual name.

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