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Leah G

Page history last edited by leahg 9 years, 2 months ago

          It was a hot gorgeous day in mid-July and my friend Barbie and I were playing volleyball down on the beach. The day had started out perfect; the sun was shining and there were no clouds in sight. We had been out on the sand since 9:00 that morning soaking up every minute of the beautiful weather. At 12:30 I started feeling hungry and proposed we go grab some lunch, so we headed to our favorite hotdog stand on the pier. We each got a hotdog and an ice cold Coke and got a table with an umbrella.

            As we sat and enjoyed our hotdogs Barbie noticed some clouds rolling in, but we thought nothing of it. We finished our food and headed back for the sand. We played two more games of volleyball; I won them both, and then laid out on our towels to relax. It was 4:00 and the sun was just perfect for a quick afternoon tan, but that didn’t last for long. Before we knew it, the sun disappeared and the sky turned a dark, almost black, blue color. The wind started to pick, up throwing sand all over us and everyone else who had been enjoying a day at the beach. We grabbed our towels and ran as fast as we could to get the rest of our stuff, which by now was blown all over the beach.

            Everyone was panicking. Parents were frantically searching for their children, dog owners were calling for their companions right and left, but their voices were lost in the wind. The wind had reached a blistering speed causing the sand to become blinding as we rushed for shelter. I heard the waves crash across the sand and I knew we were in trouble. The strong wind meant strong waves. The waves crashed along the shore, each one coming closer and closer.  The panic was growing as the waves started swallowing those who could not get away fast enough.

            Barbie and I were running as fast we could for the parking lot. In between gusts of blowing sand I could catch a glimpse of the cars; we were almost there. The waves were crashing on the shore, louder and louder, leaving a thundering echo ringing in my ears. Finally we reached the cars. We threw our bags in the bag seat and I turned the key. Nothing. Not even a click. There was no time to get under the hood and investigate so we jumped out of the car and took off running in the direction of the cars.

            The line of cars was at a stand still. Horns were blaring, people were yelling, and the storm was getting closer. As we sprinted down the highway we recognized our friend Gary’s car in the front of the lineup. We reached his car and jumped in, giving him no warning what we were doing. The cars started moving again towards their goal; high land. We reached the top of a cliff over looking the beach that almost became our grave, just in time to watch a monumental wave engulf the beach, the parking lot, and all those who weren’t able to get out on time. This storm became known as the Kraken and will forever remain in the history books.

Comments (25)

kandisg said

at 1:56 pm on May 3, 2011

Cute name! :) It sucks to be the people that didn't make it out in time. Very descriptive

jamest said

at 1:58 pm on May 3, 2011

Nice job building suspense as the storm roles in.

carrieb said

at 2:01 pm on May 3, 2011

Interesting Story. It caught my attention. Very good details.

morgant said

at 2:03 pm on May 3, 2011

good story, i like how you built up to the intense-ness. (:

aleesag said

at 2:04 pm on May 3, 2011

nice job with leading up to the ending. very descriptive

claya said

at 2:11 pm on May 3, 2011

I like the casual beginning and then turing the story into a thriller.

carmenc said

at 2:14 pm on May 3, 2011

the descriptions of the beach make me want summer NOW. i like how your story changes from peaceful to chaos

garrettb said

at 2:18 pm on May 3, 2011

This story makes me more eager for summer!!

lexif said

at 2:20 pm on May 3, 2011

I like your description of the mad chaos. I could picture everything that was happening.

cassiew said

at 2:21 pm on May 3, 2011

I like how the story went from a perfect summer day to a disaster.

amberk said

at 2:50 pm on May 3, 2011

I like how you put in the twist about the weather. Also, good descriptions...and good thing you and Barbie got out in time! ;)

rileys said

at 1:10 pm on May 5, 2011

I like how you have it going from a perfect day to a huge storm! kinda like iowa!

mariahm said

at 1:10 pm on May 5, 2011

Nice job, I like how your story had a twist to it, it really makes me want summer here with good weather!(:

samil said

at 1:11 pm on May 5, 2011

great suspense for the storm coming. too bad everyone couldn't get away.

feliciag said

at 1:14 pm on May 5, 2011

Very interesting story!! Soaking up the sun by playing volleyball all day is a nice way to do it. I liked the names you used. It caught my attention very quickly.

matti said

at 1:15 pm on May 5, 2011

I liked the foreshadowing of seeing the clouds for the first time and thinking nothing of it.

whitneys said

at 1:17 pm on May 5, 2011

liked how you started off as a casual story and it turn out in chaos good details

lizf said

at 1:18 pm on May 5, 2011

Very descriptive, really enjoyed the suspense.

heathert said

at 1:24 pm on May 5, 2011

Very good story, I pictured you and a plastic Barbie doll running for your life!!! haha

wyattg said

at 1:25 pm on May 5, 2011

Great word choice easy to understand and not hard to read

isabellas said

at 1:32 pm on May 5, 2011

Good way of foreshadowing what was about to happen.

kevind said

at 1:33 pm on May 5, 2011

great diskipsion in your store

maxm said

at 2:17 pm on May 5, 2011

Nice story I was really scared there for a minute, the storm sounded exciting!

spencers said

at 12:35 pm on May 6, 2011

good story, way to use usage and mechanics

shannonj said

at 8:56 pm on May 8, 2011

Gerat story and good choice of words.

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