| 
  • If you are citizen of an European Union member nation, you may not use this service unless you are at least 16 years old.

  • Stop wasting time looking for files and revisions! Dokkio, a new product from the PBworks team, integrates and organizes your Drive, Dropbox, Box, Slack and Gmail files. Sign up for free.

View
 

LeahG

Page history last edited by leahg 9 years, 6 months ago

Marshmallow on my Face

               by LeahG

 

I was sitting in the living room with the windows open,

I could feel the cool breeze blowing by me.

I felt the urge to be outside,

I felt the urge to roast marshmallows.

My brother decided he wanted to come with me.

As we tromped through a dark maze of woods,

we found branch after branch,

the start to start our fire.

The flames burned high as we speared our

soft, white, sugary victims.

As they entered the flames,

their skin began to bubble, expand, and change color.

My brother’s marshmallow burst into flames!

His stick is suddenly being swung through the air.

“Swish, swish,” is all I hear as the stick goes flying past me.

Suffocating the flames was not working.

Whack. Burning Marshmallow, meet my forehead.

Hot gooey sugar bubbled on my face

as I started to scream.

Here comes mom to the rescue,

Dashing across the yard to save me.

Comments (25)

joek said

at 1:44 pm on Oct 1, 2010

Very descriptive good job

jamest said

at 1:45 pm on Oct 1, 2010

I like the way you describe cooking the marshmallows.

isabellas said

at 1:46 pm on Oct 1, 2010

I love the line "Burning Marshmallow, meet my forehead"
I can actually see this happening between you & your family.

lexif said

at 1:46 pm on Oct 1, 2010

This makes me hungry! I loved the line "as we speared our soft, white, sugary victims."

rileys said

at 1:47 pm on Oct 1, 2010

I like how you made the marshmellows as "sugary victims"

wyattg said

at 1:47 pm on Oct 1, 2010

I liked how you described that the marshmallows while they were getting burnt. And how it burst ed into flames.

amberk said

at 1:49 pm on Oct 1, 2010

I like how you described the reaction of your brother when his marshmallow was on fire because it created a good visual picture in my mind of his swinging the stick around and then the marshmallow getting on you.

carrieb said

at 1:49 pm on Oct 1, 2010

The way you describe the marshmallow in the beginning and how it changed through out the poem was very descriptive. Good Job!

matti said

at 1:49 pm on Oct 1, 2010

I liked the metaphor of the cooking marshmallows being sugary victims.

whitneys said

at 1:50 pm on Oct 1, 2010

Good moment to write about simple enough and sounds like you remember it perfectly.

lizf said

at 1:51 pm on Oct 1, 2010

Ouch, hot gooey sugar bubbled on my face, that gives a very good picture in my mind.

cassiew said

at 1:52 pm on Oct 1, 2010

I liked how you gave the marshmallow skin, it made it more visual for me when it started to burn.

jacobt said

at 1:54 pm on Oct 1, 2010

I like the way you make it sound like the marshmallows are their own beings

maxm said

at 1:54 pm on Oct 1, 2010

I like how you turned the marshmallows into people.

shannonj said

at 1:56 pm on Oct 1, 2010

Great job, very descriptive.

claya said

at 1:58 pm on Oct 1, 2010

It's great the way you explain the marshmallows.

kandisg said

at 2:05 pm on Oct 1, 2010

I laughed on the inside because I can see you and Colton doing this. Made me kinda hungry too! :)

alexo said

at 1:00 pm on Oct 4, 2010

marshmallows are friends. Not victims. Nice memory and exquisite choice of sincere adjectives.

morgant said

at 1:10 pm on Oct 4, 2010

awesome description of the marshmallow. nice job.

feliciag said

at 1:12 pm on Oct 4, 2010

Very descriptive

carmenc said

at 1:24 pm on Oct 4, 2010

good use of metaphors

samil said

at 1:25 pm on Oct 4, 2010

Great descriptions i could actually picture it.

heathert said

at 1:30 pm on Oct 4, 2010

very descriptive. i can picture this happening.

aleesag said

at 2:09 pm on Oct 4, 2010

good descriptive words! i felt like i was there with you!

Mrs. K. said

at 2:26 pm on Oct 4, 2010

The description in the middle and the end is great! I could totally see that marshmallow flying through the air to smack you in the forehead!

You don't have permission to comment on this page.