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AmberK

Page history last edited by amberk 9 years, 6 months ago

Dance the Night Away

By: Amber K.

 

The dance floor is vibrating

from the bass in the speakers.

Teens jumping up and down

to the beat of the music.

My friends and I,

breakin’ it down

in our scrunched circle.

 

On comes a slow song

so we each grab a boy.

He is sweaty and gross,

which creates a

two-foot barrier

between us.

Soon the song ends and

back to the circle we go.

 

The bass fills the speakers

once again.

As the hours pass,

our circle begins to shrink.

Soon the night ends

and sends us our

separate ways. 

 

Comments (22)

claya said

at 1:49 pm on Oct 1, 2010

I like the way everyone leaves.

rileys said

at 1:51 pm on Oct 1, 2010

I like the words you use to describe the boys, which is SO not true. Just sayin'

lexif said

at 1:53 pm on Oct 1, 2010

I can picture the dance perfectly, and the sweaty boys part is very true.

kandisg said

at 1:54 pm on Oct 1, 2010

I can see you dancing with the boy, and barely touching him!

isabellas said

at 1:54 pm on Oct 1, 2010

The poem makes me feel like I'm right there at the dance. I believe the sweaty boy part is extremely true.

wyattg said

at 1:55 pm on Oct 1, 2010

I can picture the bass vibrating the whole floor.

whitneys said

at 1:57 pm on Oct 1, 2010

I like how you made it feel like your in the moment by just reading this.

joek said

at 1:57 pm on Oct 1, 2010

the bass maybe vibrating the floor but the guys couldn't of been sweaty because we never danced but great description

matti said

at 1:57 pm on Oct 1, 2010

I liked your use of descriptive words in describing the dance.

leahg said

at 1:58 pm on Oct 1, 2010

You did a really good job describing this. Almost like we're back at the dances in our little circles again.

carrieb said

at 2:00 pm on Oct 1, 2010

I like the two-foot barrier part. Jr. High dances! haha. I can relate to this because i was there!

jamest said

at 2:01 pm on Oct 1, 2010

Nice way of describing how the dance slowly ends.

jacobt said

at 2:02 pm on Oct 1, 2010

I like the play on words, the slow dance... slowly comes to an end.

cassiew said

at 2:03 pm on Oct 1, 2010

I liked how you described the boys as gross and sweaty, it felt like you were talking about a Jr. High dance.

lizf said

at 2:03 pm on Oct 1, 2010

the way you describe the dance ending is exactly how it goes, really good description.

shannonj said

at 2:05 pm on Oct 1, 2010

Good job describing this. I can just see the gross sweaty boys!

maxm said

at 2:08 pm on Oct 1, 2010

I'm sure the boy was probably the one who decided on the two foot barrier. Good Job

garrettb said

at 1:00 pm on Oct 4, 2010

way to step up and dance with the guy. 2 foot barrier is a lil close isnt it haha

feliciag said

at 1:19 pm on Oct 4, 2010

Good job amber! very descriptive

samil said

at 1:27 pm on Oct 4, 2010

awesome descriptions. it really describes slow dancing with guys.

aleesag said

at 2:14 pm on Oct 4, 2010

nice descriptive words! i felt like i was there!

Mrs. K. said

at 2:30 pm on Oct 4, 2010

You nailed the JH dances with this one... girls all dancing in a circle, 2 ft. barriers in the slow dances... great visuals.

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