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Morgan E

Page history last edited by Morgan E. 10 years ago

The Moving Day Surprise

It was a crisp autumn afternoon and the leaves were all nicely put into a pile blowing away one by one from the wind. Suddenly the little children burst into the pile making leaves fly side to side, up and down, and in every direction. As the children return to there feet they begin to reset the pile trying not to miss one leaf on the ground. As they jump then rebuild then jump and rebuild again the little boy and his younger sister lay in the sun. All of a sudden they hear a light whistle. This of course means the mother of Christopher and Amelia (or Mia) is telling them to return home for a supper. As the kids scurry back into the cool home where they have lived for five years, or since Christopher was born they begin to smell turkey and mashed potatoes with gravy. This meal was a delight but this also meant mother had something to say (most of the time its not very good news).

 

The children where finally inside sat in their chairs and were almost ready to fill there plates when all of a sudden their mother bursts into tears. Christopher and Mia ask her “what’s wrong” but she cant speak her throat is full of sorrow.  As their mother regains her strength She slowly says “ We…Are…Moving”, and that was it. There were not follow-up questions, there was not screaming or crying from the two children. That was it! The children moved back slowly as if to say, “This is all a dream”. But sadly this was not.

 

The next morning they children had almost forgotten about the so-called dream that they both thought they had encountered.  As they move down stairs to the smell of pancakes and syrup they run around the corner to see boxes all filled and all towered up right in the middle of the dinning room. Mia and Christopher look straight at each other in astonishment. They yell for their mother to quickly see a man all dressed up in a uniform carrying two large boxes labeled “kids toys”. Mia and Christopher looked at the man’s suite as he set the boxes down very gently. His name was Adam. He seamed like a very nice gentleman.  As mom walked out to the boxed up dinning room she was wearing an apron that said “ Momma Mary” (as Mary was her name). The kids look in astonishment at her, then back to the boxes, then back to their mother. Mia and Christopher looked at each other again and then realized that this was not a dream, they really were MOVING!!!!

 

There mother yet again told them that they were indeed moving but it would be in the same school and they would not have to move away from there friends. Mia and Christopher let out a sigh of relief, but this did not make the anger go away. Mia and Christopher wanted to know where they were going. As Mary/mother told them where they were going they slowly started to smile. As Mary kept talking they children’s smile got bigger and bigger until you could see every tooth of Mia and Christopher’s. Adam was stilled piling box after box until they were all their every single clothing piece and kitchen pot and pan was either in a box or in the extra tub in the living room.  Adam then realized why the children where smiling (unless he took a wild guess). Adam thought that Mia and Christopher where happy because, number one- still going to the same school. Number two- still having the same friends, and number three- they would be moving right next to there best friends house on the outskirts of town.

 

This best friends name was Ashley. Ashley was the same age as Christopher and one year older than Mia. Ashley was a very nice girl she was fun and had great ideas for when you get bored. As Christopher and Mia help pack the rest of their clothes, Adam and Mary help put the boxes in the moving van. Two hours later everything was picked up put away and in that moving van. Mia and Christopher were sad that they had to move but once they started to move into the other house, everything was fun and never boring. Today Mia and Christopher and Mary are still in that house and they love it more than ever. So never underestimate the future cause you never know you might actually like it.

 

 

The End 

 

Comments (17)

Kayla K. said

at 11:07 am on Apr 1, 2014

I like how you make everyone act like you said you made the mother cry and everything and when you have her talking it sounds like she can barely talk.

Anthony F. said

at 11:08 am on Apr 1, 2014

I liked how all of the details in the story matched the title.

Jayde B. said

at 11:10 am on Apr 1, 2014

I like how you use third person point of view, it made it sound different, in a good way! I also liked the names that you "picked."

William M said

at 11:12 am on Apr 1, 2014

I like the descriptive words used in your story. Also nice title, it "fits" the story

Jordan B said

at 11:13 am on Apr 1, 2014

You used great descriptive words. I could easily picture things

Garrett L said

at 11:14 am on Apr 1, 2014

I like how it could relate to someone actually moving.

Allie W said

at 11:17 am on Apr 1, 2014

I liked how you describe your details.

Andrea D said

at 11:18 am on Apr 1, 2014

I liked how descriptive and clear your story was.

Grace K. said

at 11:19 am on Apr 1, 2014

YOu used great description and I felt like I was there

Bradley N said

at 10:45 am on Apr 2, 2014

I thought that I was in the story and I liked how you used details and a lot of description.

Ben F. said

at 10:51 am on Apr 2, 2014

You had a lot of details and description.

Jenna O said

at 11:00 am on Apr 2, 2014

I liked how you put the setting as. Made me feel like I was actually there.

Croy S. said

at 11:01 am on Apr 2, 2014

I liked that you used dialogue it made it fun to listen to. Also I liked the ways you described the setting.

Rachel D said

at 11:01 am on Apr 2, 2014

I like how in the beginning it was sad because they had to move, but as the story went on it turned out to be better than they thought. Nice Job!

Tatum K said

at 10:47 am on Apr 3, 2014

I like how descriptive how you made the story. It made it enjoyable to read.

Casey P said

at 12:26 pm on Apr 3, 2014

I like the whole story. Great descriptions great plot and nice voice.

Kenzie W said

at 9:08 am on Apr 4, 2014

God job! I liked the part where the kids are happy in the new house at the end. Good detail!! :)

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